You found a man you like who treats you well and instead of embracing the possibility that he could become Mr. Right, you push him away in one of these four ways.
Dismiss his compliments with your skeptic attitude.
For whatever reason you’ve decided he’s full of crap and can’t possibly be sincere when he tells you that you are smart, beautiful and that he enjoys your company. Could he be a jerk trying to work you over for his own agenda? Of course. Is he? That’s the question you should be asking yourself.
If this method of pushing him away rings true for you, it’s likely you’ve been trained to date by the jerks in your life. You haven’t allowed room for the fact that there are good men who are actually sincere. It’s worth some consideration or you just might miss out on a good one.
Worry that it’s too easy.
He pays attention to you, asks about your life, listens to your answers, and wants to spend time with you. Except, in your life, that’s not “normal” for your relationships and you push him away.
In this case you’ve been trained by the selfish types who spend most of their time ignoring you and you spend most of your time trying to get their attention.
Now you have a man who is giving you attention, without the need for you to demand it, and it’s freaking you out. Maybe try out this new interaction in a relationship and see how it feels instead of pushing him away because there’s no drama.
Secretly wonder why he’s so interested in you.
Have you ever wondered “why does this guy like me so much?” Is it because he’s a different type of man than you usually date and you’re just curious about what it is about you that appeals to him? Or is it a deeper issue that somewhere inside of you there’s a question about being worthy of his interest?
If it’s the second one, that’s big emotional baggage you are dragging around and you are pushing him away with your constant insecurity. If this describes you, get some help from a counselor, coach or therapist so you can unpack those bags, enjoy dating and embrace this man who interests you and who is interested in you.
Keep an eye out for someone better.
He likes you and you like him. You’ve found a man you want to spend time with and explore if he could be The One for you. Except, you find yourself wondering if you should keep looking for someone better.
Stop sabotaging this relationship and just enjoy it. And, do not carry around the attitude that you should keep looking because he’ll pick up on it and feel like you are pushing him away. Guess the bottom line is if you really want to keep looking then do it, but don’t string him along in the process. If you decide to dump him, be aware that you might be succumbing to the what-if-I-am-wrong-about-how-great-he-is syndrome. Trust your choices and enjoy the dating process!
Date Deliberately,
Debra
P.S. For help figuring out who is Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong, check out my book, “Love is Blind Only if You Are.”
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