Debra Kunz

With a shocked look and a sad heart, a sudden breakup spins your world in multiple dimensions. How to get over a sudden breakup takes chocolate and lots of tissues.

Stop Trying to Figure Out Why

You may never know why this happened, so stop replaying everything you’ve ever said to him, and everything you’ve ever done together, hoping to figure it out. It’s just keeping you stuck in your emotional fog, and not allowing you to heal and move on.

Cry, Cry, and Cry Some More

If there’s ever a reason to cry your eyes out, getting dumped by the one you thought would be forever is one of them. Being strong and thinking he’s not worth crying over is true, but not realistic. Letting yourself cry helps get the pain out of your system and is one of the first things to do to get over a sudden breakup.

Have a Breakup Sponsor

A breakup sponsor is the friend who cares about you and will be there while you cry, but won’t let you do stupid things like text him and plead to “talk” under the cloak of “understanding,” when what you are really hoping is if he talks to you he’ll see it’s a mistake to breakup. The bottom line is if he wanted to keep dating, he wouldn’t have suddenly broken up with you.

Manage the Memories

There will be reminders of him throughout the day that will trigger memories and hurt, so do your best to stay calm and give yourself permission to sob later if you want. When you’re at work, if you can stop yourself from reacting at that second, you will feel much more in control of your life, and your recovery. Plus, you won’t air your emotional baggage at work which everyone else will appreciate, and it doesn’t put your job at risk.

Decide He Won’t Ruin Your Life

You decide if you’ll be better or bitter after this breakup. This empowering and conscious choice means you won’t let this sudden breakup keep you from finding love again. Eventually, after your heart has healed, you’ll be ready to try again.

Know You’re Grieving

This sudden breakup is a loss so, like any other loss, expect to go through the stages of grief, shock/denial, pain/isolation, anger/bargaining, “depression”/reflection/loneliness, working through things, and acceptance. Everyone experiences the stages differently, and progresses through them differently, but we all do them. Many times we will progress forward and then feel like we go backwards, or hop around between the stages. Pay attention to how you feel and know it’s part of the healing process. If you get stuck, get some help from a counselor or real friend.

How to Get Over a Sudden Breakup Includes Treats for Yourself

Get a new outfit, a pedicure, or a massage. Treat yourself with kindness, though don’t go overboard and get yourself into financial trouble using your sudden breakup as an excuse. Be smart and kind to yourself, not crazy.

When in Doubt…

The last two pieces of how to get over a sudden breakup are here.

Date Deliberately,

Debra