You may be a Ms. I’ll Fix Him if you continue to choose men to date (or marry) who have (or create) lots of life drama and you want to make it all better for him. You want to soothe him. Or baby him. It makes you feel needed. It’s a nurturing thing on steroids. Some may call it “people pleaser.”
You Do Everything
Given he’s wrapped up with his own issues and concerns, he does nothing to maintain the relationship with you because he’s always needed elsewhere – at work, with his buddies, or anywhere other than helping you or being there when you need him. You become resentful as you realize you trained him not to do anything for you by always doing everything yourself, and the relationship either blows up or you settle for this mediocre situation and sleep in separate bedrooms the rest of your life.
It’s Not Love
Don’t mistake the feeling of being needed by him with being loved by him for who you are. It’s not the same and your underlying beliefs are part of the #1 way you sabotage your love life.
Find a different way to meet your need of being appreciated. The resolution may be a conversation with him about your needs, or it could mean making life changes and ending a relationship. Or, it could mean you’ll choose differently this time because you are aware of your Ms. Fix It tendencies.
Date Deliberately,
Debra
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