Debra Kunz

There are no hard and fast rules about dating and gifts during the holidays, though here are my thoughts. If you have been seeing someone for little awhile, get something small. If you aren’t seeing anyone exclusively, it’s up to you if you’d like to choose something.

In either case, don’t go overboard on spending. Choose something meaningful, not expensive. And, be aware that he may or may not return the generosity. If you have some definition to your relationship, as in you’re actually in one, it’s more obvious to take the time and choose something meaningful for him. If there isn’t any definition to you and he dating, it probably feels like a bit of a slippery slope – You aren’t sure if he’ll get anything for you, and you don’t know what he’ll think if you take time to get something for him.

Think of it this way – if you take the time to choose something, you make an impression that you’ve been paying attention. He could freak out a little that you gave him a gift, or he could notice you are thoughtful and like him. Another option is to just get him a funny card with a message that reminds him of something you did together, or shared with each other. He’s probably watching for clues to “what does this mean” just like you are, so be aware of that.

You can’t control how he will react, so make the deliberate decision of what you want to do – to give him something or not – and enjoy the outcome, whatever it is.