Debra Kunz

It is truly astounding to me that people are attempting to date and build relationships, or they think it’s a relationship, by texting a majority of their communication. It’s a rarity in these cases to actually talk voice to voice. I ask you to fast forward with me… if this was a real relationship, are you going to sit on opposite ends of the couch and TEXT each other? Sit across from each other at the dinner table and TEXT each other?

You are probably thinking “that’s ridiculous Debra,” yet if you have already set up a texting pattern with each other, that’s pretty much the extent of your relationship…er dates…er inquiries… since it’s not a relationship yet, and you are just barely dating.

Real communication is a requirement to start a relationship, let alone build one into something meaningful and sustainable. Texting is a nice short cut for ‘checking in’ kinds of messages like “on my way”, though meaningful conversations need to be in person or at the very least on the phone.

You won’t experience his spirit, energy, passion, or real intentions through texting. There is way too much room for interpretation, or more likely misinterpretation.  Why do you think emoticons were invented? Because we humans need more than the words to understand the true meaning of the message. The trouble is, emoticons can only go so far. You must experience his tone of voice, how he speaks, and his body language to truly begin to learn about this man.

If he will only communicate with you by text – you aren’t a priority. If you will only communicate with him by text, he isn’t a priority. Or, one or both of you are too chicken to actually talk to each other. Get over it. If you are actually interested in this man, have conversations with him, not text message “discussions.” If he is actually interested in you, he’ll do the same.

Date deliberately,

Debra