Debra Kunz

This is a story about two first dates and asking yourself the question – now what?

On one of the dates, the man couldn’t ask for more butter for his potato without apologizing to the server three times. The sentence was something like (spoken to the server), “excuse me, if it would maybe be possible, could you potentially, if it’s not too much trouble, and you have the time, could you maybe bring me some more butter?” You should have seen the look on the server’s face. I’m told that even he was questioning the choice of being on a date with this guy. Was it nerves? Insecurity? Something else?

In second situation, the man brought her a magnet business card and told her to hang it up on her frig. And, no, he wasn’t kidding. Oh ya, and it arrived in a bag with his name and phone number on it complete with a coffee mug and pen with his name and phone number on it. Then, he gave one to the server too. Wow! Are you on a date or are you being solicited for business? I don’t think his date was as impressed as he thought she should be. So, was it nerves and he was trying too hard to impress her? Is he really that egotistical? Is he just that excited about his business? Something else?

So what do you do next if it were you going out on these dates? Depends upon if you liked anything else about him. Did you have anything in common? Was there interesting conversation? Did you feel any sort of chemistry? Do you know yet if he meets any of your deal breakers?

Some of you are thinking what I already said in these stories would be deal breakers. I totally understand. However, what if part of dating deliberately is giving him another chance? Are you wondering how many chances do you give him? That depends upon you. There are three possibilities – 1. Both of these men may have been really nervous and it showed up in different ways. 2. It’s just how they are as people so it’s part of their innate character. 3. They are seriously clueless about dating.

If you give them another date, you’ll have a chance to learn the answer. If you don’t, you might be writing off a man who isn’t innately flawed, just clueless. The answer I would worry about most is if it’s just part of his character.

What would you do?

Date Deliberately,

Debra