Debra Kunz

Mistakes are part of being human though where’s the line between messing up, being misleading, and flat out deception? How many chances does he get with you? Inadvertent miscommunication is one thing, intentionally misleading you is quite another. Knowing the difference is both an art and a science though the primary key is paying attention. Knowing the Top 3 Signs to Dump Him and Run helps too.

Does He Get Another Chance If…

He says he’ll call and doesn’t.

He stood you up on your first date.

Tries to feel you up before you’re ready.

Lied about himself in his online dating profile.

Has four kids, not two.

Misleads you about his job, profession or how he earns his income.

Is ‘too’ nice to the point he has no opinion of his own and always agrees with you.

Repeatedly says ‘he’ll do better’, but never bothers to make an effort.

No Way!

Some of these are BIG SIGNS the answer is NO – he does not deserve another chance. Lying about how many kids you have is just ridiculous. Lying about your profession or job is disturbing, and just makes me wonder what else he is hiding. Is the ‘truth’ answer he gives after he’s been caught lying actually the truth or is it just a fill in answer because it’s closer to the truth than the original lie? Yikes. Of course there’s the other big one I didn’t list above – lying about the fact that he’s married. Double yikes.

Maybe?

Being so nice he never has his own opinion might actually appeal to some women. Be careful though, problems may arise when the ‘real him’ starts being revealed. You might discover that you don’t like the man you are with.

Deception in his online dating profile is never a good start. Does he get a chance to explain and try again? That’s up to you. Maybe he expanded his list of interests, and he’s not as passionate about all of them to the same degree. I’m not sure that one is a big deal. It depends upon if he represented himself as passionate and all-knowing and then you learn he isn’t and doesn’t. Could be something he’s interested in learning about, but his lessons haven’t started yet. He might get some wiggle room – you’ll have to decide.

Being stood up on your first date is just cruel. If he doesn’t want to go out with you, he should have the spine to say so. If something unexpected happened, he should have called. If something terrible happened and he didn’t call (obviously since you were stood up), and then does call sometime later, you get to decide if you believe him and if he deserves another chance.

Now What?

No one is perfect, and neither are you, though it’s important to recognize your breaking point of ‘enough is enough’ and move on. It also means you get to decide if whatever happened is a deal breaker, or if you are intrigued enough by him to see what might develop.

As I’ve said many times, there are a lot of good men in the world and you are only looking for one. When you know he doesn’t deserve another chance, move on to someone who does.

Date Deliberately,

Debra