Debra Kunz

“Don’t want to scare him off” is a phrase I’ve heard, and have used myself in the past.

If he’s interested in you or wants to be in a relationship with you, he won’t be scared. If he is scared, it could be your values don’t match, you don’t have the same expectations about a relationship, or it’s an issue with him, not with you. Or, it’s an excuse and he’s really trouble. Or, perhaps you just aren’t the right woman for him. Ya, that last one kinda stings.

It’s important to mention that I am assuming you are not doing ridiculous things that would scare him like driving by his house constantly, calling him numerous times a day, showing up where he works, or other stalker-like behaviors that would scare anyone off.  I’m also not saying it’s ok to propose to him or declare you want to marry him on the first date, or have lunch with his Mother he hasn’t introduced you to yet. Yikes, that’s just desperate and if you don’t think so your Cinderella Head is showing. (See my prior posts about Cinderella Head, or Chapter 2 of my book.)

There is some art and science to the dating process, though if you want a relationship and he doesn’t, believe him and choose someone who is looking for a relationship. Sometimes letting this be simple is the best way to reduce your stress about it.

Date Deliberately,

Debra