Debra Kunz

One very important distinction in your dating journey is the difference between a date and a relationship. Going out with someone once is a date, not a relationship or life long commitment. Even going out with him a few times is still dating, not a relationship. Don’t view the first few dates as “forever,” simply view them as a fun opportunity to see if you’d like to spend time with him again. Be truly present with this man right now, and very careful of assuming he is or isn’t like your last man (or husband) and acting as if he’ll do or won’t do things just like the last guy.

Make the first few dates short, keep it light and have a good time. It’s a nice evening, lunch or maybe a drink. (If you choose to drink, be sure to keep your wits about you.) You go home (by yourself) and reflect on if you’d like to see him again. That’s the only question you need to answer after a first meeting, or even a second. (Because some of you are already wondering – going home with him and having sex is discussed in my book, Love is Blind Only if You Are.)

Yes, you can dream about becoming Mrs. Man I Just Met, though be careful of getting ahead of yourself. Dreaming about him and staring into space with a grin on your face is important, but part of the dating journey is learning some Basic Facts about him, along with experiencing how he lives and runs his life. The butterflies in your stomach when you’re around him don’t tell you if you can build a life together. Good decisions involve your head and your heart.

Date Deliberately,

Debra