Debra Kunz

Last week I was speaking for a singles group in the Kansas City metro area.  When I asked about the group’s biggest dating questions, one courageous person asked “How do I protect my heart and still date?” I applaud this person for asking a question that was certainly on the minds of others.

The blunt answer is – you don’t.

If you want a relationship, you have to date. Mr. Right isn’t going to knock on your door and introduce himself with “TaDa! I’m here, your Mr. Right!”

There’s no route to a relationship without dating unless you want a version of an arranged marriage. Actually, it doesn’t even have to be a marriage. Could be a committed relationship that someone else choose for you. Ya, I know, there are days you wonder if that would be easier…maybe even more successful.

The question becomes, would you really want to give up your choices? Would you really want to stifle your love life, or your life in general, by giving away your power to decide how you live your life and who you share it with?

Consider this analogy – When I’m working with people or businesses on creating deliberate growth, I talk about one of the five secrets to growth being the route through change. You can’t grow without change, yet we all want to skip the pain and uncomfortable nature of change and go directly to the growth, aka ‘the answer.’ Same with a relationship – you can’t skip from start to relationship without dating unless you jump off the commitment cliff on the first date.

Having the great love we all deserve requires taking a risk with your heart. When you accept that fact, and know that you will be ok regardless of whether it works out or not, you’ll be more open to the possibilities around you.

Date Deliberately,

Debra

P.S. Making decisions with your head and your heart can help protect yourself from dating mistakes. Read prior posts for more details, or see the whole process in my book.