Communication is a common dating frustration and texting seems to have become a ‘normal’ part of it. Especially with online dating, texting is inserted into the communication process after you’ve been emailing on the website, but before you actually speak to each other, or even meet.
Is He Interested
In the stories I’ve heard, he’s the one who initiates this form of communication and while it may be more convenient than logging into email or the dating site of choice, it doesn’t really show that he’s interested enough to meet you.
Playing with Fire
Yes, you can choose to agree to texting though given the likelihood of misunderstandings, it’s playing with fire. You don’t know each other’s speech patterns, you don’t know the other’s sense of humor, and you have no idea about his intentions. Sure, maybe he’s being cautious and not trying to go too fast with you. Or, you might be the cautious one and thrilled that you don’t have to actually talk to him yet.
The Words Are Only 7%
I caution you with this fact: communication is only 7% about the words that are used and the rest of the message is interpreted through body language, tone of voice and facial expressions. Since those don’t exist in texting or email, we humans created emoticons.
Even with emoticons, there is still A LOT of room for interpretation and the odds of misunderstandings increase when it’s someone you don’t actually know, and have never spoken to.
It Could Start a Pattern
Dating first begins with intrigue, then it builds to interest, then it builds to like, then it builds to a real connection, and maybe even love one day. There are a lot of ways to move along in that process and it usually involves skipping around some as you get to know each other. The question becomes, what’s the best way to communicate with each other to give yourselves the best opportunity to find out if you are a match.
You may decide that you want a man who is interested enough to talk to you and meet you. Or, you might decide that texting feels safer for you and that’s the route you agree to. You might consider your own communication style, and be aware that the communication pattern you begin with now, could become the one you use most often later if you and he have a relationship.
Date Deliberately,
Debra
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